Mark Maslin’s Mein Kampf

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Professor Mark Maslin’s book “How To Save Our Planet: The Facts” is out. 

Christiana Figueres, Former Executive Secretary UN Climate Change Convention, says:

‘Punchy and to the point. No beating around the bush. This brilliant book contains all the information we need to have in our back pocket in order to move forward.’

Not to beat around the bush, the idea of Ms Figueres moving forward with Mark in the back pocket of her twinset is one to interrupt the train of thought of the most ardent denier.

Penguin Books says:

How can we save our planet and survive the 21st century? How can you argue with deniers? How can we create positive change in the midst of the climate crisis? Professor Mark Maslin has the key facts that we need to protect our future.

Global awareness of climate change is growing rapidly. Science has proven that our planet and species are facing a massive environmental crisis. How to Save Our Planet is a call to action, guaranteed to equip everyone with the knowledge needed to make change.

Be under no illusion the challenges of the twenty-first century are immense. We need to deal with: climate change, environmental destruction, global poverty and ensure everyone’s security. We have the technology. We have the resources. We have the money. We have the scientists, the entrepreneurs and the innovators. We lack the politics and policies to make your vision of a better world happen. So we need a plan to save our planet…

How to Save Our Planet is your handbook of how we together can save our precious planet. From the history of our planet and species, to the potential of individuals and our power to create a better future, Maslin inspires optimism in these bleak times. We stand at the precipice. The future of our planet is in our hands. It’s time to face the facts and save our planet from, and for, ourselves.

[Emphasis in the first two paragraphs is Penguin’s. Emphasis in the last two is mine.]

Mark Maslin, like many confused, unhappy people nowadays, has a problem with pronouns. Take just the final paragraph. It’s not my handbook, it’s Mark’s. And it’s not we together who are going to save the planet, it’s Mark and his friends “the scientists, the entrepreneurs and the innovators”  he mentions in the previous paragraph. And it’s they who have “the technology, the resources, the money,” not us. What we have is the £7.99 we are invited to shell out to find out what Mark has in mind for us, the planet, and everything.

But:

We lack the politics and policies… we need a plan …

Yer what? Every respectable political party on the planet is falling over itself to fawn on your every word, and you haven’t got a policy? 200 countries, 30,000 people have been Conference-Of-The-Partying, year in, year out for 26 years, and you haven’t got a plan? 

This is a lie, isn’t it? The Big Lie, the multi trillion dollar lie which you refute yourself with every word you write. You’ve got millions of words of plans and policies. There’s hundreds of thousands of you planning day and night what we shall eat, how we’ll travel and live, down to the tiniest detail, for the next hundred years. It’s the most comprehensive totalitarian plan ever devised. Stalin and Hitler were woolly-minded dreamers compared to you. 

The problem is that your plan is fascist, but you’re not. You’ve got the policy, the thousand year mindset, and the flag with the spiky criss-cross symbol in a circle, but you lack the Freikorps, and the necessary Blut und Eisen for getting your way. (Especially the Eisen, which is ever so carbon-horrid.) 

Not only do you not have any democratic mandate, you don’t have any marching hordes of disciplined, brainwashed masses to impose your Will either. Instead of thousands in blackshirts and jackboots you’re dozens in ethnic hand-knitted pullovers and trainers. You’re all pull and no Putsch. Your plan is so Thirties, and you are so Millennial. I mean, where are the starving, leaderless masses, driven to desperation by unemployment and hyperinflation, ready to swallow your insane dogma and march to your orders? (I’m talking about the1930s of course, not the 2030s.)

Because, let’s face it Mark, temperatures and sea levels have been rising for centuries, and you’re just a geography teacher centimetres out of his depth. You want to take away our cars and boilers and foreign holidays in order to extract the carbon dioxide from the atmosphere, one molecule at a time. And insulate and double glaze us until we’re reduced to warming ourselves with our own CO2-loaded breath.

C’mon Mark. You’re in the back pocket of the most powerful woman in the universe, she who embarked the world on a multi trillion dollar spending spree from here to the next century, and you’re telling us it’s up to us to help formulate a plan to save the planet? Stop beating about the bush and pull the other one. 

Get out of Christina’s back pocket and leave the old boiler alone.

via Climate Scepticism

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May 20, 2021