Trump Thanks FBI For Kicking Off His 2024 Reelection Campaign

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First the satire:

By the Babylon Bee.

“They came into my home to make your favorite president look like a criminal. Such losers, such losers. But everyone still loves me so it’s ok. They didn’t even find anything! I’m gonna be the President again!”

Sources close to Trump say his first act as President will be to fire his own appointed FBI Director Christopher Wray and replace him with a used dust mop from the Capitol janitor’s closet before razing the Hoover building and banishing all FBI agents to Gitmo.

“I’m gonna fire everyone, literally everyone in government,” said Trump. Federal Reserve? Gone! EPA? Gone! CIA? Gone! Department of Education? ATF? HHS? Gone, gone, gone!”

The news media responded to Trump’s statement by calling him a “threat to democracy worse than Hitler” while tearing their clothes and heaping dust upon the crowns of their heads.

Then the news:

Half the country already knows the FBI Raid was not about “upholding the law” and 4 out of 5 Republicans say they are more likely to vote. The Democrats, and Team FBI may have miscalculated. They are desperate, which is perhaps the most promising sliver of light in a dark mess. They have most of the media, the Deep State, the electronic hackable voting machines, the harvesting teams, the mail in votes, no voter ID, support from the CCP, the UN and the EU, and a million new illegal voters, and despite all that, they are acting like they could lose. Remember the last two elections? They *knew* they were going to win. This is not the same.

Let’s not get cocky.

Poll: 83 Percent of GOP Voters Say FBI Raid on Trump Increases Desire to Vote

83.3% of Republicans say the raid increases their motivation to vote in 2022

47.9% of those polled say “Trump’s political enemies” were behind the FBI raid, compared to 39.7% who say the “impartial justice system” was behind it.

And they did turn out:

Turnout, Trump, and the Mar-a-Lago Raid Made for Big Upset in Connecticut

Republicans, Democrats, and independents throughout Connecticut were left reeling Tuesday night by the results of the GOP Senate primary.

In what is easily one of the Nutmeg State’s biggest upsets in recent history, former State House Republican leader and long-presumed favorite Themis Klarides lost the Senate primary to Republican National Committeewoman and former President Donald Trump-endorsed Leora Levy.

To call Levy’s upset of historic proportions is no exaggeration. In defeating Klarides, who had the endorsement of the state Republican convention, Levy became only the third Republican to win a statewide primary over the convention-endorsed candidate since primaries began in Connecticut in 1970.

“Trump voters were fired up,” said one GOP consultant who requested anonymity…

Did say “awaken the bear?”

h/t OldOzzie, David E

via JoNova

August 11, 2022