One of my favourite programmes on TV at the moment is Only Connect; and it isn’t just because I have the hots for Victoria Coren Mitchell. Nor can it be said that it’s because I love to show off in front of all of my imaginary friends, since:
a) on average I can only answer one question a week, and
b) they are not taking my calls anymore.
Indeed, my lack of prowess at the game is a source of some personal embarrassment. Nevertheless, I think I have come up with a solution to my disconnect. To illustrate the solution, I have compiled the following Only Connect question. What have the following got in common?
Tequila ; Shakespeare ; Black Holes ; Teddy Bear
If you were to follow the links the answer should become immediately apparent. But if your life is too busy for you to be bothered, I’ll tell you the answer anyway: They have all been linked with climate change. In fact, if you were to do the googling yourself, you would see that the connections for each are both many and varied.
Okay, so let’s try another one:
Earwax ; Carpet ; Menstruation ; Teeth
Different question, same answer: They have all been linked to climate change. Just follow the links to see how.
How about one more?
Drainpipe ; Hair ; Cheese ; Football
You should already know the answer by now, but following the links will help you confirm the connection.
By this stage you may be suspecting that I must have spent hours coming up with these obscure connections – but you would be wrong. It is actually rather easy to find them, so much so that I have begun to suspect that there may not be a single word in the English language that hasn’t been used to fuel climate change alarm. To put that theory to the test, I picked out a genuine Only Connect Wall to see if it provided a complete connection to climate change. These are the results:
Row 1:
Mensa ; Neville ; Badger ; Kitten
Row 2:
Turnip ; Hound ; Anthony ; Draco
Row 3:
Ghost ; Norma ; Harry ; Margaret
Row 4:
I don’t know what the real solution to the above wall is, but had you said, “Are they all connected to climate change, Victoria?”, the answer would have to be:
“Congratulations! You have solved the wall.”
Now that I know this trick, Only Connect will never be the same for me. As for Willard’s Climateball Bingo, I can’t see how much fun it could possibly be to play when even #ButEarWax and #ButMensturation are both a thing.
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