COVID “cases” and the coming U.S. election seem to have dominated the news nearly everywhere. Presumably that will be so for another two months, at least.

After a few months of hiatus, partly out of laziness, other commitments, or lack of interesting material (his words, not mine), Dr. Klaus L.E. Kaiser has started writing again — beginning with a crazy idea.

If you think it’s too far “out of this world”, no problem, just let Dr. Kaiser know.


Where’s Your Planet?

(slightly off-balance)

Who said “we are all in this together?”

Dr. Klaus L.E. Kaiser

In reality, competition and one-upmanship is alive and well. From “pre-ordering” millions of doses of a — yet to be developed vaccine – against an already mutated pathogenic virus, to space exploration, sorry, I mean claims of possession, there is fierce competition on planet Earth, wherever you look.

The U.S. has set its sight on exploiting the (supposedly) rich rock deposits on the Earth’s Moon (though one wonders how much a pail full of that could even be worth). Most of the rock samples taken on the Moon and brought back to Earth nearly 50 years ago are collecting dust in various museums around the world. Perhaps some of your offspring might find moon-sand neat for building sand castles in the backyard.

Seriously though, isn’t it an ancient idiom that:

Possession is Nine/Tenths of the Law

In case you missed the news, Russia (or one of her up-and-coming disciples) recently claimed  planet Venus as property of the state (  and ).

I didn’t realize how easy it was to claim possession of anything “out of this world.”

Probably should have thought of that sooner but let me quickly catch up and correct my past failure:

I Now Claim:

  • Possession of the Solar System, planets (other than Venus) and their moons, including those yet to be identified;
  • Possession of all stars, planets, moon, comets, asteroids, cosmic dust, and – mostly importantly – all the black holes in this entire Galaxy;
  • Possession of the Universe, including everything that may yet be found there – or elsewhere.

Out of Generosity

Out of my boundless generosity, I’ll grant eternal claim of possession to TEN square miles of the place on any of the heavenly bodies that actually has had a living human set foot on – in the entire Universe (apart from planet Earth).

If you agree to such terms, kindly send a bank-draft for FIVE U.S. Dollars to my accountant!

Sincerely Yours,

[The Author]

p.s.: What gave rise to the claim of possession of Venus?

It was the (spectroscopic) finding of the (toxic) gas phosphine (its chemical notation is PH3) in the atmosphere of the planet. It is thought (by some folks) to be a “biomarker” for living organisms in an environment.

Expect to meet, any day now, not just a few Mars-lings but some Venus-lings as well.


Dr. Klaus L.E. Kaiser is a professional scientist with a Ph.D. in chemistry from the Technical University, Munich, Germany. He has worked as a research scientist and project chief at Environment Canada‘s Canada Centre for Inland Waters for over 30 years and is currently Director of Research at TerraBase Inc. He is author of nearly 300 publications in scientific journals, government and agency reports, books, computer programs, trade magazines, and newspaper articles.

Dr. Kaiser has been president of the International Association for Great Lakes Research, a peer reviewer of numerous scientific papers for several journals, Editor-in-Chief of the Water Quality Research Journal of Canada for nearly a decade, and an adjunct professor. He has contributed to a variety of scientific projects and reports and has made many presentations at national and international conferences.

Dr. Kaiser is author of CONVENIENT MYTHS, the green revolution – perceptions, politics, and facts

Dr. Kaiser can be reached at: mail@convenientmyths

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September 22, 2020 at 12:00AM